First of all, sorry for being really off the blogging radar! I’ve been travelling to exotic places – check my Instagram. Now, Happy New Year, everyone! Hope you had a great party.
The first blog post of the year and it had to start with this *sigh*
I want to do a cute Indo-Western OOTD or an adventurous Kufri Travelogue, but no, I had to start with this because those can wait.
So, one of my male friends was trying to buy an iPill for his girlfriend. After checking in almost 20 medical shops across Chennai, he searched for it online in reputed pharmacies. The moment he entered his pincode, the pill went out of stock. Surprised, he checked Google only to find that emergency contraceptives are banned in Tamil Nadu. All through the while, none of pharmacies mentioned him that the medicine was banned, but most of them gave him an offensive look. He asked his girlfriend to try a couple of reputed medical stores, and she was also treated the same way he was. While they found the tablet from someone who had an extra luckily, he was quite taken aback by the news of emergency contraceptive ban. He narrated me this and asked, “Why don’t you write about this?” I asked, “What good will it bring? Will they revoke the ban?” He said, “No, but I really want to know your opinion on this.”
I read the various news articles about the ban. I would have been fine if the ban was on medical grounds. However, no, the ban was on moral grounds.
N Selvaraju, then-director of drug control, Tamil Nadu said, “We are not against women’s rights, but this is a moral concern. The advertising of this drug will mean that women will think, ‘I can do anything and there is an easy way not to get pregnant’. We can’t allow such an attitude to grow.”
Okay, already the concept of moral policing is getting too much on my nerves, these days. From “oh look at the way she is dressed up. It’s so morally wrong,” to “oh, 26 and unmarried – what has happened to her morals?” I have faced it all. Coming back to the emergency contraceptives, I really don’t understand what was a moral concern here?
Are we trying to imply that getting pregnant is the punishment a girl gets for having sex, and she should not escape it? Is that what the director of drug control means? Before getting into the concept of moral concern, let’s think of a few scenes where iPill could be useful.
- A married woman who forgot to take her daily contraceptives on the day she had sex – she needs the iPill.
- A married couple who had a condom-break situation – they need an iPill.
- A married couple who are still in the process of figuring out what contraception they must use.
- A newly-wed, who couldn’t carry a pack of condoms to their nuptial night due to societal burden, who didn’t want to become parents within 10 months of marriage – they need an iPill.
- A wife who was subject to marital rape and the husband chooses not to wear a condom that day – she needs it.
Okay, do any of these scenarios sound morally wrong? Not to me!
Now, let’s come to the scenarios with non-married couples. Well, I can hear moral polices shouting, “non-married couple thinking about sex itself is a wrong thing.” Well, let them dwell in their small thoughts, here are a few situations.
- A girl who was raped – just to be sure, shouldn’t she pop an emergency contraceptive?
- A couple who are engaged ended up making love in the heat of the moment? Aren’t moral police are the people who say, “if you are engaged you are half married?”
- A couple who are in a relationship and will get married when they finish their family responsibilities?
Aren’t these all genuine issues?
I am not even going near the possibility of asking what if a guy and girl had sex for pleasure. That sound so morally wrong, isn’t it? Having sex for pleasure? No, you must have sex only for making babies!
One of my non-Indian friends, who lives here, asked me, “India is the land of Kamasutra, but having sex before wedding is considered to be morally wrong here?”
I didn’t have an answer to tell him, for that’s the same question I want to ask every single person who says, pre-marital sex is wrong.
You know what is morally wrong? Adultery, Rape, Marital Rape, Sexual Assault – but again, a woman is blamed there.
Husband cheats on Wife – surely, she didn’t know how to keep him happy.
She cheats on her husband – she cannot control her urges? She needs more than one man. She is a s***
She gets raped – What was she doing at *this* time of the day, wearing *this* kind of clothes, with *this* person?
Her husband has forceful sex with her – having sex is husband’s right, it is not a crime. Why is she denying him of his right?
Okay, all these are known facts! And before you guys scream “she speaks feminism,” let me speak some humanity as well.
A girl in India and in most other parts of the world is mostly bound to suffer, but let’s come to the case of iPill ban. Think of the guy! In most cases, guys are the ones who go to purchase iPill for their girls. Mind you, apart from a few jerks, most men are concerned about the health, period schedule, and happiness of their girl as much as the girl cares for herself.
The friend I mentioned in this post is someone who cares for his girl’s health and happiness. Depriving him of something that is going to ease both of their minds is morally right, but a couple making love is morally wrong? I can never understand the moral values.
If only people had less of the so-called “moral education” and more of sex education – I wouldn’t be ranting here, and you would be reading my cute OOTD post and not this!