You have never been a conventional boyfriend, & I know you never will be.
Not only you forget my birthday, but you are unapologetic about it. You don’t check where I am after my work. You won’t remember our anniversary, leave alone what I wore on our first date.
The guys I dated before you treated me like a princess. Yes, I might have cribbed about them to you, but they did actually pamper me to the core. From surprising me constantly to opening doors for me, they treated me exactly how romantic novels describe it to be.
You seldom open doors for me; at times, I open it for you. You never feel possessive when I hang out with my male buddies. You don’t roll your eyes in disapproval when I wear short dresses. You hardly ask me if I want you to carry my bags. You treat me like a fellow human.
You are different!
You aren’t the kind of guy who checks with my best friends on what to gift me. Nor you are the guy who knows what to gift me. You are the one who calls me to ask, “What do you want me to gift for your birthday?” It took me by surprise, actually a shock. No one has asked me that before. The explanation you gave stunned me more. You said, “I thought of giving a gift card if you weren’t gonna tell. If you pick your own gift, you will love it even more. I would prefer a gift card.”
You are logical!
Ha! When I fall sick I am used to people (read: mom) scold me or pamper me more. I have had my past lover saying “Baby, are you sick? Come let me hug you. You’re gonna be alright.” I smile and feel happy about being wanted. I have felt high on being pampered. With you, it was never “let me hug you.” It was always, “Let’s go to a doc” or “why don’t you take the day off & rest?”
You are practical!
You are not the kind who talks on phone with me for hours together. However, when you are with me you seldom browse through your phone, unless it’s a work call. I am used to people constantly making efforts to be present in my life by texting or calling me every now & then. From “Jaanu, did you eat?” to “Did my baby sleep off?” I have been there all. With you, it’s different. “When we are together we are; otherwise we have two different lives,” you said. I wanted to tell this to every person who asks me why I don’t call them often, but I never said so. Finally, when you said these, I was like, “OMG, where were you so long?”
You are independent!
You don’t crib about cancelled plans and you taught me that is okay to have cancelled plans and plan changes. You don’t hold my hands when we cross the road, but you teach me how to cross properly. You don’t drive me around everywhere, but you teach me to drive like a pro.
You are a teacher!
You aren’t the one who keeps asking me out; you don’t offer to pay the bill always. As much as you love to take me out on a date, you love it when I take you out on a date. You don’t hesitate to cook a meal for me as much as I don’t hesitate to fight with people who annoy you. You don’t give up your window seat for me always just because I am a girl. You treat my family members as your own. You enquire about them as often as possible; although I know you don’t remember my mom’s name. But that doesn’t matter, for you always promise me to take care of her when I travel.
You are an egalitarian!
Speaking of travel, you don’t always tag along in all my plans. Just like how I don’t in yours. You tell to my face that you don’t want me around you 24*7 and will never get offended if I say the same to you. You trust me with your life and it means a lot. Similarly, no matter who you hang out with, you have never put in me in a spot where I get suspicious, jealous, possessive, or paranoid.
You are trustworthy!
When I point out your flaws. You listen, explain, reason out, and accept. You also take efforts to correct it. Similarly, when you don’t know something, you are not afraid to ask about it and learn the same.
You are a learner!
You are friends with your ex, and unlike anyone else, you encourage me to be friends with mine. With you, there is no awkward or off-bound topics. You cherish only the fun moments from your past, live in the present, and never anticipate anything. Something everyone must learn from you.
You are a bon vivant!
The first time I saw you, you were joking with a petrol bunk employee. You crack jokes with sweepers, waiters, security guard. You don’t sympathize with specially-abled people, but you treat everyone equally. When I told you that a guy tried to kiss me, you didn’t go and hold him by his collar. You told me that probably his way of expressing his love. You asked me to be happy that someone loves me. You also added, “Tell him hard & clear that you are not interested. If he repeats, give him a tight slap.” You care for everyone;
you are a humanitarian!
Most guys I know introduce their girl as friend, girlfriend, lover, etc., However, when you introduce me, you introduce about me, my achievements, and then add the fact that I am your girl.
You are my man!
Many people have told me that a guy should treat his girl like a princess.
Why should I be treated like a princess when I am his Queen?
You happened in my life, but given a chance again, I’d still choose you a hundred times over, in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you over anyone else.
To my man, to my best friend, Happy International Men’s Day.
Finishing this letter with my favorite lines by Vairamuthu
உன் குறைகள் நான் அறியவில்லை;
நான் அறிந்தால் சூரியனில் சுத்தமில்லை…
I don’t know your faults. If I know that, it means even the Sun is impure (loose translation).
Disclaimer: The above open letter is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is a coincidence. If you feel offended by this, I don't give a sh*t about it. K Thanx Bye! 😜