Every morning for the past 2 days, I wake up and feel so fresh;
And then, the reality hits like a heavy slap on my face.
That void feeling, vagueness, numbness, and emptiness is all I could feel.
It will get better, they said; it’s only getting worse each passing day.
When people ask, “how are you?” I say, “Okay,” but deep down there there is just a blank feeling.
“Cry out loud,” friends said, “Why isn’t she crying?” relatives gossiped.
Only if you are sad, you cry; when you are empty, you can’t cry.
Legal works and rituals kept me occupied; All I thought about was to make this tragedy a little less saddening for others.
Somewhere down there, this strength & emptiness etched my soul forever.
When I did question myself how it’s going to be without one of the parents, someone called on my phone to give condolences and asked, “Am I speaking with Ms. Indrasenan?”
He is there! Forever in my name, and deep inside beyond all that scared, scarred, void soul of mine.
I never said it to you; I always looked up to you, dad! I wished I expressed it more. I was never daddy’s little girl, that is always my sister. I was, am, and will always be your strong girl, just like how you wanted me to be.