It took you just two minutes to ask me out. While, men struggle to create a good first impression with the girl they like, all it took for you was two minutes.
So, yeah, let’s recall our first date. I saw you in front of Sandy’s, and for the first time, something more than just their hot chocolate caught my eye. I look at you and think, “Oh my God! This one’s gonna break my heart!” Yes, I was paranoid. I wasn’t over my past love or lover. I don’t want to play the victim, but first broken love takes a long time to heal, indeed. In my case, it took away the trust factor too.
Burying the paranoia and pessimism deep inside, I had that first conversation with you over a cup of hot chocolate. You spoke a bit on your failed relationships. You said how you preferred to wear casuals over formals. You showed me your tattoo; it was a religious motif. I never expected a guy as suave as you to be religious inside. You were just like me, stylish yet filled with sentiments.
We casually drove through our favorite city in your car. You said, “I don’t like having kids.” You said it without knowing if I liked to have kids or not, and that was bold. Luckily, you spoke my mind, and I said, “Me too, I could kiss you!” We kissed! Trust me, it was by far the most sensual kiss I ever had. I had been kissed with complete love and/or complete lust. Those were mere wordly, emotional connections & feelings. However, have I felt out-of-the-world connectivity in a kiss with someone before? No! With you? Yes, our lips were like two jigsaw puzzle pieces that completed one another.
You spoke about how you loved IPL over One-Day or Test Match. It was a first time a guy I know accepted that. We spoke on how much we love CSK. Slowly, we started talking about everything under the Sun, from Rajinikanth (oops, our thalaivar) to stock market. Somewhere while discussing about some random neighbour’s dog, you thought kissing me was a good idea, and my lips did cooperate more to your thinking than mine.
You didn’t drop me back home, you didn’t buy me flowers, you never gifted me anything, and vice-versa, but that’s what made us something different from regular lovers. We went to different cities for work. Long distance dating was not fun, but our chemistry never sunk. When I said I am a sapiosexual as well as person who gets attracted to looks, my friends ridicule me. But, here you were just like me. You wanted beauty with brains & you were one too. As much as we sexted, we had intelligent conversations too. You adored my writing as much as you adored my waistline. I loved your quick wit as much as I loved your Greek God like Torso.
I never had to worry about putting my hair in a nice hairdo, you adored me even in messy hair, and I adored you even when you chose to bath once in two days. You are the only guy, who smoked near me and I never bothered to stop you. People said I must do something about it, but no I didn’t want to, I adored you the way you were. I still remember the times where we argued on politics, sports, and science. We never had a topic to argue in our personal lives. People thought we were smitten totally. I always thought that we fitted perfectly.
We never made love. We never said I Love You, I always wondered why, but I never needed those to assure our relationship. One day, you proposed for marriage. You said that you even told your mom about us. I thought you were kidding, but you weren’t. And trust me that was the cutest and the most innocent proposal ever. I freaked out. All the past memories of getting hurt gushed out from deep inside where they were buried. I, somehow, felt that a sign of commitment might ruin the magic we have. I thought that social pressure of commitment and marriage will burn our magic into flames.
I vanished from your life. You were understanding; you didn’t bother me. After almost six months, I ran into you at a work party. Trust me, I wasn’t intoxicated just by Vodka when I kissed you. We had a really nice sneaked-out time from the party; you said how glad you were to have me back in the same city. You said you will call me the next day. I waited for your call, but you didn’t. Your message said that you were busy and you will call me later. But again, I was paranoid that you were gonna hurt me, and again I vanished from your life.
It’s been three years since this Hide-N–Seek game started. As someone rightly said, “If you have the right chemistry, all you need is timing. But, timing is a bitch!” We had everything that would have made us an incredible couple except timing.
Now that all the worrisome and paranoic yesterdays are over in my head, some day, down the lane, I wish to run into you and see if the magic is still there because now the timing is right, but there is no you to have chemistry with.
The Girl Who Missed You
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