It was dark. All I could see was a faint white light coming from a shop, which was on the opposite platform. I am not a person who prefers darkness, for what else could be expected from a typical Hindu girl, who has not been adventurous or taken risks. I hold hands of my children tightly; my son, aged 15, was matured enough to know what was going on, but my 10-year-old girl was lying on my lap unaware of what was happening to her mother. Normally, my son would have asked for Lays, Coke, or Samosa in railway station, but today he didn’t.
While I gaze at the faint light on the opposite platform, I recollected how the light in my life faded into darkness. Amit, the man I was in love with for the past twenty years, is now a stranger, or should I call him a betrayer? After 3 years of love and 17 years of marriage, he walked out of my life, or should I say he showed me the way to walk out of our house, which is now his house? What will you do when a perfect life crashes in a moment?
I get disturbed by the sound of train that arrived on our platform. I got up from the iron seat in Mandya railway station and get on to the train, which read that it is going to Bangalore, my hometown, the town I ditched to live with the “love” of my life. I had gotten three unreserved tickets, but boarded on the reserved compartment. I lost hope, and I wondered what went wrong. I started contemplating and became cynical all through the journey. After bribing the TTR, I managed to get one berth for my son and one for me and my daughter together. I mentally calculated the amount I had in my personal savings. After giving him a few lakhs for his new car, what was left in my savings was a meager one lakh.
Being dependent on a man for twenty years, quitting job for his convenience, and being the submissive wife had paid me brilliantly: It paid me with pain. My son saw me crying and wiped the tears off my face and said, “It was not your fault.” I smiled at him faintly. “Do you remember what you told me when I fell down as another guy pushed me during the running race during the last annual sports day?” His question amused me. Seeing my amusement he said, “When you fall down, it’s not your fault. You might feel sad for falling down, but remember the situation could have been worse, you could have been the guy who push others down. When you are righteous and you fail, it means that the victory is postponed, and not snatched.” I was dumbstruck, I hugged him tightly. “Also, mom. Whenever I am not prepared well for my exams and when I am clueless about where to start, you ask me to start from scratch. You always said it was the cleanest way to start when the mind is unclear.”
At times, child is the mother of a woman. I have missed the warmth and prudence of my late mother, but here I was gifted with such a shrewd and supporting son, who acted like a parent to me now. I hugged him and wept for a while, but we both knew that when I get down in Bangalore, I am gonna leave my past behind and start from the scratch, and what is more optimistic is, this time, I have two gems who are my analgesics that would not only shoo away my pain but would also make my new journey pleasant and worthy.
~Dedicated to all betrayed, strong, single mothers out there.
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