A year or so back, I was telling to one of my friends, “Just like how we have feminism, there should be meninism too.”
She retaliated immediately asking, “Do you mean sexism?”
“No, sexism is offensive. Meninism is something like feminism for men.”
She didn’t understand and asked me if I was really a feminist. Yes, I am a feminist and I support meninism. That being said, let’s see what exactly are these fancy terms.
Feminism: the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.
Sexism: prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex.
Meninism: (not a word yet) express the difficulties of being a man in the 21st century.
However, in most of the cases, feminism is used as male-bashing tool and meninism as female bashing ones.
One thing that should be absolutely clear in one’s mind before being a feminist or meninist is that, the ultimate goal of whatever movement it is, is to have equality among the sexes and not trying to prove that one is better than the other.
There was this interesting conversation when a friend of mine said, “you never know the importance of feminism as you are size-zero.” I was confused and raised my brows. She continued, “you get male attention, but imagine the state of hefty girls they are never considered.” I seriously didn’t get how it was related to feminism, but all I could ask her back was, “Do you like Mr. XXX (one of our mutual friend’s name)?” and her response was, “he is shorter than me.” Well now, when men see slender looking girls it is sexism, and when the girl goes for tall boys, what should we call it?
This example being said, one thing that I wish to clear is, dating or loving a person is absolutely one’s preference. Just because a person likes slim, fair, beautiful girl, he is not necessarily a sexist. He would be a sexist if he tries to stereotype or discriminate girls in general. Same rule the other way round, dating short or tall guy is one’s own preference. These petty things are generally confused with bigger terms like feminism and sexism.
The next illustration is somewhat more intense. At workplace, the sexes need equality in pay and hierarchical growth among other stuffs. But, how exactly does it work and how it should it work? If there is an opening for 4 positions, certain people claim that 2 men and 2 women should be filled in the position, but how exactly it should be filled is 4 eligible candidates, irrespective of sexes should be filled. If two people are in equal position and has a similar job description, but if their pay or perks are discriminated based in sexes, then it is a questionable offence. Otherwise, claiming that equal positions should be given irrespective of talent is not a wise thing to do.
I read somewhere this funny line, “Women can’t expect feminism as well as chivalry. You cannot both have your cake with you as well as eat it off!” Although, it was bit offensive to me, it did make sense. Expecting your guy to open doors and pull chairs for you is a lovely gesture, but what is expected in a relationship is between you two. Role reversal in a relationship is absolutely common, and it is totally up to the couple. However, I have seen many ladies who expect random men to hold doors always, and I have seen men who shamelessly sit in the ladies seat even if a pregnant lady is standing. It is as simple as that, open your own door. Sit in the seats reserved for you! I like Andhra/Telangana government buses for this one aspect. They clearly segregate men and women seats, so either of them get to sit, unlike other states’, where men are not reserved any specific seats so mostly they are prone to be woken up irrespective of where they sit.
Recently, a friend of mine was telling how he faces requests and orders from random women who ask him to get up from the seat to give them place to sit (despite sitting in non-ladies seat). He outrightly rejects their order/request if they are not pregnant, child-holding, disabled, or old.
While news about rapes and harassment against women are fast-spreading, so are the news about men rape, Rohtak sisters’ stories, etc. Sadly, at times, men issues are rarely spoken off.
My point is simple: When a woman expects men not to judge her based on the clothes she wears, her drinking habits, or her size/color, then she shouldn’t judge a man based on his height, his color preference (pink is not gay!), his emotional stature (crying is normal for anyone), or his pay slip. Marrying or dating a person is absolutely one’s own preference but when you expect men not to stereotype women into slim, beautiful, fair category, let’s not stereotype men into tall and well-settled category.
I am still a feminist, and that doesn’t mean I can’t speak against my own sex!
P.S: A feminist is not the one who hates men, waxing legs, and marriage. On the contrary, she is the one who understands men, loves her body and pampers it, and has her own views on the institution of marriage.
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