She clutched her red skirt tightly along with her knees and cried. She cried for what happened today, the things that happened month before, the stuffs that went wrong an year back, and for the all the messiness in her life. Her tears wet her brilliant red skirt, she silently saw the tears create bloats on her otherwise perfect skirt. She thought of Anup who gifted her this skirt, she thought of the beautiful years that she and Anup spent in love; the thoughts that should bring a smile on her face brought her tears. It was Anup’s wedding that day. She could have been there besides him in red lehanga instead of sitting on her terrace in this red skirt.
She remembered Sujith, her first crush. She was lucky enough to have a mutual first crush but then what seemed to be a fairy tale to her friends was nothing but mental agony to her. At 17 when she deserved to be happy, date the one she liked, and have fun she was struck up with a self sustained guy who was externally flirtiest and romantic but his internal self was nothing less than a monster. After Sujith which ended in hardly 4 months, it took her totally 1 year to recover out of it. Finally, she fell in love again and this time she knew it wasn’t crush or physical attraction but Love. She loved Anup with a love that was more than a love. However, what she thought as Eternity lasted just 5 years. She didn’t know who was to be blamed? Her non-adjusting behaviour or his suspicious nature? Her beauty that caught many eyes or his arrogance that always degraded her? Her nagging nature or his practical look towards life?
She came to a point where she couldn’t cry anymore it’s been 8 months since they broke up and she didn’t know what was more hurting? The fact that Anup is going to be married or the fear that she could never move on. She wiped her eyes and got up from her bean bag. She went to answer door which was being knocked for God-Only-Knows-How-Many times. As she opened Vinay was standing; she smiled at him. Vinay is her best friend since childhood, he had been with her through thick and thin, through ups and down he held her back. She hugged him and wept again. Being friends with someone for 15+ years definitely will make you know how exactly you should pacify them. He had already mastered the art of pacifying her. Only he knew, yeah none of her so called crushes, dates, or Anup also knew how to pacify her.
After nearly 45 minutes of hugging her, patting her back, giving her chocolates, and chocolate ice creams she finally smiled a little. He read her favorite bed time story to her. While many girls preferred movies before sleep she preferred to read or listen to stories. Slowly, very slowly she slept off in his lap. Vinay’s phone buzzed, it was his fiancée Pooja. He explained her his situation and she understood. That’s what he loved the best about Pooja, she was the only girl who understood his friendship without any doubts or suspicions.
After 10 months, at Pooja and Vinay’s wedding she was introduced to Pooja’s cousin Ryan. He was a rare combination of being awe strikingly hot and breathtakingly brilliant at the same time. He liked her at the first sight. “Hey, I am Ryan”, he said. She politely smiled and introduced herself. “I am a big fan of your dance. I have seen all your dance shows” he said. She smiled, thanked, and left the wedding hall even without exchanging numbers with him. Ryan might be a nice guy but then she knew that her heart was broken beyond repair this time.
After a week, Vinay texted “You didn’t like Ryan? He is a nice guy.”
“It’s not Ryan, it’s me!”
“I am not ready to get hurt again or worse I don’t want to hurt him with my woes.”
“You should move on!”
“There are lot of other ways to move on than to fall for another guy. I did that mistake after Sujith. I dated a few guys, and none went more than the first date. Then came Anup and now he is gone. I don’t want the history to repeat itself again. Once bitten, twice shy.”
“So, what else will you do?”
“Eat ice creams, chocolates, concentrate on my salsa career, watch netflix, come over to your place, shop with Pooja, rant to you, and be myself.”
“But how long will you be single?”
“I was never single. Since 17, I am in relationship one way or other. I am exhausted.”
Vinay knew she was right and he didn’t question her further.