Have you ever realized that I have never blogged about my dad? Being a blogger, and a writer (yeah, those are two different things) I write about anything that impresses me or at times I do rant about things or people who let me down. In that case, I should have blogged about my dad, shouldn’t I? But nah, I didn’t. My dad and I are these perfectly incompatible human beings who live in peace under the same roof. I have always been the “Mommy’s Lil Girl”. Remember this picture which was virally shared in FB?
Well, this picture exactly depicts me. Even when I want something from my dad, I ask it through mom! However, recently my mom and dad had been sulking away from one another (the cold war that usually happens between two people who are madly in love). Thus, my mom very sweetly (read: bitterly) said that she won’t do the middle-monkey thing between me and my dad anymore. Sadly, I had to go and talk to him all by myself. Trust me I have never done this before. My maximum conversation with him where limited to the following;
- Dad, Where is Mom?
- Dad, Mom is calling you!
- My results are out, you can check it!
- I got a job.
- Pass the phone to mom; I want to talk to her!
All these questions gets an awesome one word reply called “Okay”. Again, I am telling you, my dad and I don’t hate each other. Personally we don’t have even an ounce of problem. Just that we both are perfectly incompatible individuals (our thoughts and likes vary by millions of miles).
So, let’s get back on track. As I was telling, I had to talk to my dad since mom was in “I-am-sulky-princess-do-what-I-say” mode. Here is the conversation we had;
I knocked his room thrice until he said “hmmm”
My Dad: Yes.
Me: I am quitting my job.
My Dad: Vitru ma (Quit it dear).
My Dad: What happened?
Me: Are you sure?
My Dad: Of course I am. Take a break.
Me: I am not sure about what I should do next. I am confused. Maybe I need to set up my own workplace.
Dad: *stuffs keys in my hand* these are keys of our 3rd floor unoccupied, fully furnished flat. Take it, set up your own mini office. Work from home.
Me: I might need a system, I can’t work in laptop.
Dad: You know to assemble a system and do basic formatting, etc. Don’t you?
Dad: The PC you were using months back is still in the store room. Get is assembled and check how it works. We will buy the necessary stuffs once you get the system ready.
He closes his bedroom door as I leave. He never says “thank you”, “I love you”, or “I miss you” to me. There are times when I used to think I wanted a dad who was expressive but then after this conversation I got an unknown strength and hope inside me. At times hugging won’t help, kissing won’t help, advice won’t help, and even empathizing may not help but giving a simple solution or opportunity helps.
That night I was speaking to my sister about love, relationship, and weddings (my favorite topic to write about). I said her about how dad reacted and how I got a positive motivation via his simple actions. After a while I asked her how she manages to stay married for all these years (20 years is indeed a long time, and I hardly could see happy marriages for this long these days).
She: At times, holding on is a better option than letting go!
Me: Why? Is it because of love?
She: Same thing happened to me long back.
Me: What thing?
She: Dad’s conversation.
She: Once I had a nasty fight with my husband and I was crying terribly. Dad came near me and said, “If you can’t take it anymore, leave it ma!”
Me: What? Dad said so?
Me: He asked you to leave but you stayed?
She: No, his confidence made me stay. It made me fight against ordeals and live.
Me: We are blessed, aren’t we?
She: Blessed is an understatement.
There are times in my life where I have envied my friends’ parents or have cursed God for giving me parents who don’t pamper me but today when I look back all I can say to God is “Thank you God. Your creation is right.” Pampering parents would have made me happy but my parents made me strong. If I had to choose between happiness and strength to battle fears I would go with the later.
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Love & Cheers,