Ever noticed how all women’s problems begin with men? MENtal illness….MENstrual cramps… MENtal breakdown… MENopause… LOL, Men are inevitable part of my life. I mostly have to deal with men both in professional and personal life. I thought why not categorize them? Well, read on! If you have a weak heart, sensitive, or suffer from MCP syndrome then read the disclaimers at the end of the post first. If not, then keep reading!
1. Johny Bravos:
Have you watched this show in Cartoon Network? If so then you would have guessed what I mean by this type. They are the ones who try to hit on me, if not possible then try to hit on my friends through me. However, sadly only they try, try, try, and keep trying. Mostly these people are single and trying!
2. Hutch Dogs:
Oh yeah, they are these guys who follow their female friends everywhere. They are so cute and as soon as you see them you want to do “Googly Woogly Woosh”. They are so down to earth that they will not just hold your shopping bags but also your handbags at times. These are the guys your mom will blindly trust about and these are the ones who follow you everywhere except to the loo.
3. Self-Obsessed bunch:
Err… What to tell… These are the guys who are so self obsessed that they will make size zero models less obnoxious. These guys are the ones who use mirror more than you do, the ones who click a lot of selfies (at times you end up being their photographer), goes to salon to get a pedicure, and above all asks you 20 times a day whether they are good looking and the worst is they will not settle up for any answer other than affirmative ones.
4. The Office Boys:
No, No. It is not because of the fact that they help us. It is because of the fact that they no matter what happens keep addressing you as Madam/Ma’am. They are mostly in your acquaintances category and they will use madam so many times that you yourself will doubt whether they are making a prank or is it really out of formality.
5. Gossip Kings:
Oooo… These are the ones you should be very chary about. The guys who gossip are far more dangerous than the gossip girls. Remember when they gossip with you, they will gossip about you. They are rare to find and totally worthy to be avoided.
😛 I have literally given the opposite of Tomboys… Well, these people are totally funny and a potential bullying material. They are the ones who have problems like “Mom will scold if I go late” (late in their case is after 8PM), “No, we can’t eat out today. Mom will scold”, “Relatives are coming, and I can’t come out.” Additionally, these people go for Mocktails in the pub.
7. Forget it all:
Yeah, I do accept men can’t remember dates but these lots are some extreme cases who not only forget your birthday but they seem to forget diwali, women’s day, holi, etc. LOL, sadly they don’t forget but they feel it is absolutely unnecessary to wish people. Trust me I have a friend who doesn’t wish me on my birthday even when I call him and tell that it’s my birthday, he will be like, “Huh, where are you giving treat. When will we meet? Where is my 2 states book?”
8. Hey Sri (insert your name), where is my undieeee?
Well, these are one complex group of men or to be precise boys. Generally your younger brothers, cousins, or best friends fall in this category. You are their savior, everywhere and anywhere. Randomly at midnight you will get a call from them asking their runescape password or fifa cd at times it goes worse and they will even ask you where their underwear is… 😛 Trust me this is one crazy bunch of people.
9. Know-it-all! (KIA)
Me: I am so upset today.
KIA: I told you not to do “that” see how it happened… Now do “this”.
Me: Huh? Okay!
Whatever you say they will have a response and advice also. Better way to close their mouth is “Okay”.
10. Formality, Decency? WTF are they?
Well, these guys are my most favorites. They are the ones who don’t pamper me! I am never addressed by my first name, surname, or any name. All I get addressed is by some nasty names like “Eruma (buffalo), Monkey, Piggy, A******, Duffer, Dumbo” and lots more. They are no way going to appreciate me; they won’t compliment my new hairdo (leave complimenting it is a miracle if I don’t get teased). When I am sick they will be like, “Ate ice cream without me nah piggy?” When I am in mood off they are the ones who say, “You deserve it… See how happy I am”.
But, but, but they are not as irritating as they look. Want to know why? Well, these are the people who will punch the nose of a guy who broke your heart. The guys who will not forget to check the registration number of the auto you board, the ones who makes sure I eat my pills on time when I am sick, the ones who makes sure that I am pampered at the same time left independent. They care and pamper me by their actions and in heart.
- These are the Top 10 categories of men in my life. Read it, share it, and forget it.
- If you are not in the list, good pat yourself for there is nothing wrong!
- If you are in the list and you like it read second half of #2.
- If you are in the list and you don’t like it, see the second half of #1.
- You are what you are and you people are in my life and I like you because of your originality. Don’t ever change yourselves.
- I will put a 10 girls in my life post soon, so take a chill pill and stop calling me staunch feminist.
- Inspired by DeeKay’s Taxonomy of Women
- Ok Thanks Bye!
The Unbreakable Bond‘s next chapter will be published next Tuesday and due to time constraint, the blog-o-novels will be released only on alternative weeks. Sorry for the inconvenience.
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Love & Cheers,