I woke up from my grave, yeah that’s right I woke up from my grave. I had been dead for a while now. Suddenly, I am awake and alive now. Oh wait! Am I alive? Well, I don’t think so because no one can see me, only I could see them. What an ironical state, I always wanted to know how people around me feel when I am gone? However, when it is happening in front of my eyes I feel sad. I don’t want to see this but do I have an option? I am back from dead and sadly I have no option than to roam around the people I love. Thus, I take turns to visit people I love;
Place: My BFF’s place
Shiv (that’s how I call him) is devastated. Who won’t be if their childhood sweetheart died at such a young age? I could see the pain in his eyes, the urge to meet me, the desire to hug me, the love that he never expressed. “Here I am Shiv, I am right here”, I shout but everything goes into deaf ears. He however spends his daily life in a similar fashion as he used to do before my death. He goes to his office, works, meets his GF, spends time with his family but then there is a small empty space in his heart which was reserved for his best friend (me) and that always would be mine.
Verdict: Shiv moved on with his life except for the small empty space.
Place: My another BFF’s place
Sounsiee couldn’t take my death but the impact was much low when compared to Shiv’s. After all she had known me for almost just a year however she missed me more than Shiv did. Although I had known her for just one year we shared our deepest secrets. She loved me more than any other friend of mine. She trusted me with her life. I see a drop of tear roll down from her eyes as she cross the EA signal and I know the exact reason for her tears. I remember the day when I made her cross like a wild stray cat let loose on a heavy traffic filled EA Signal. She is getting married in a while; at last she has found that perfect prince charming. She misses me in every part of the shopping, the gossiping, the ranting, the eating, and everything else.
Verdict: Sounsiee misses me because I always made her complete and she made me complete with our differences.
Location: Salem, TN
Place: Room F3 – Swinns
Swinns is now incomplete for the 7th member is no more. I could see all of them move on with their lives but every now and then during cooking, shopping, teaching, learning, movies, dance, music, and almost in all day to day activities I could see them miss me. They can’t bear even if I am away for a month without any contact with them, now the fact that I am totally away bothers them way too much.
Verdict: They all can’t move on for they think me as a mother, teacher, sister, best friend, and everything. Maybe they need more time to move on.
Place: My Home – Mom
The moment I see my mom I get reminded of this song. This song will explain everything.
Here are some lyrics that are exactly conveying my feelings now!
Mom: Teri raah takein aankhiyaan, Jaane kaisa kaisa hoye jiyaa, Dhire dhire aangan uthre andhera, mera deep kahan, Dhalke suraj kare ishara chanda tu hai kahan, Mere chanda tu hai kahan
My eyes are waiting for you, My heart is going through various emotions, Slowly darkness in creeping in the courtyard, where is my daughter? The sun is setting and gesturing to the moon, where are you? Where are you my moon?
Me: Kaise tujhko dikhaun yahaan hai kya, Maine jharne se paani maa, tod ke piya hai, Guchcha guchcha kayee khwabon ka uchal ke chhua hai, Chhaaya liye bhali dhoop yahaan hai, Naya naya sa hai roop yahan, Yahaan sab kuch hai maa phir bhi, Lage bin tere mujhko akela
How do I show you what is here? I’ve drunk water from the fountain maa. I’ve touched several clusters of my dreams. The sunlight along with the shade is here. The atmosphere is so different and new. All that I want is here maa.. But still..Loneliness is what I feel here without you…
Verdict: She can never get over me for even my grave read, “Here lies Mommy’s Little Angel”.
Location: Chennai & Hyderabad
Place: My Home – My Nephew & My Niece
This is my worst nightmare, seeing my kids without me. I never wanted to witness this. They are small, they will soon get over me but I can never trust anyone, to be not even their mom to take care of them the way I do. They are naïve, innocent, and so immature. I am just thankful that I have handed them my diary before my death for Sha will know “how to get over an ex” or “how to stop thinking about someone” and Rahul will know “how to crack Gate easily” and “how to solve complicated aptitude questions”. Above all they will know how much I love them and how they should lead their lives for I wrote them notes everywhere.
Verdict: They will somehow move on and the notes and diary will make them feel better and Rahul will know that his DiDi at last became an angel and Sha will now start believing in Guardian Angels.
Place: My Bro’s Home
My brother looks devastated. Who doesn’t when their favorite younger sister is dead? His daily routine is similar. He calls our sister, talks, hits gym, eats, works, and prays, and so on. However, his schedule is complete. There is no more conference call, no more partners in crime. I could see his face has got much tanned. Pathetic. He doesn’t remember to apply the sunscreen as always. I so wish I was there to remind him. He finally unblocks his Punjabi crush and tries to hit on her. “Oh stupid brother, it took you my death to realize that you did love my Punjabi bhabi?” I so wish she takes away the grey area in his heart and keeps his life as vibrant as I did.
Verdict: My brother now had additional duty of taking care of my nephew and niece both as a aunt and as a uncle.
Place: My Male Version’s Place
There is this guy; I have known him for 2 months. He is not my best friend, not my guy, nor do we have crush on each other. We don’t know what we are but we are similar and compatible. He checks my facebook profile. I am sure he misses me, although not as much as the rest of the people did but still he does miss me. He then opens a word document. I sneak peek to see what he is reading. “Did he complete the Game of Thrones that he started 6 months back?” I wonder. He is reading my unpublished novel. No wait, he is proofreading it.
He curses me while reading the book, “Sri, WTF girl… This is so pathetic. This page contains some 10 errors. Grammar pochu po (Your grammar is gone). How many times will I teach you the difference between say and tell?” He smiles slightly; the tiny – very tiny dimple appears on his right cheek. I can’t resist but ogle at him. He then continues his work. It’s good that he takes time to publish my unpublished novel.
Verdict: Publishing my novel is one of my unfulfilled dreams; I know he will definitely publish the book!
Place: My Sis’s House
Yeah, it is no more a home. I can see that it is a mere house. I see my sis sitting and staring, for rest of them I saw pain in their lives. For her, all I see is Pain and I am searching for life in it. I could see my jiju had ordered to remove all the mirrors from the house. I would have done the same if it was other way round, her facial features, her body shape, posture, everything will remind me of her. She however can find little bliss with Sha. I hope that she will find another Sri in Sha…
Verdict: This is the one who has been affected a lot and seriously even I don’t know how she will move on.
I have listed only some of the very close people and their perspective on life after my death. There are lots more people who I love and who loves me, due to time and word count constraint I stop here. While analyzing for this blog post (I am dead, I woke up from my grave after 4 months, and I can see people while they can’t see me) I tried to think in their perspective and delivered my best in conveying their emotions. Finally, I am sure although my death may impact all of these people drastically, they will definitely move on, maybe there will be a grey area but still they will move on and they should move on.
Personal message to you guys (in case I died really :P)
Shiv: I want to you start the business that we planned to do. Of course I am your best friend forever; don’t even call anyone else your bestie.
Sounsiee: I hope you will marry to the man of your dreams. I know it will tough to shop, rant, and gossip without me but do write to me. I will read from the heaven? No wait I will be in Hell I guess still I will read.
Mom: On my death anniversary, keep me Vendhiya kulambu, appalam, paniyaram, and urundai sambar. Please, don’t say that it has onions.
Nephew – Rah: I want you to use my savings to get Honda Brio Blue Car. P.S: Keep it Safe and Don’t stick Arsenal Stickers on it 😛
Niece – Sha: Don’t fall in love. I will not be there to catch you. However, trust me I will show you the right guy. Wait; don’t take hasty decisions like me.
Bro – Nemo: Punjabi Bhabhi chahiye (I want Punjabi sister in law). Please unblock her, get over your ex and marry this girl. She is the one.
He-Rasgulla: You are one awesome guy I have ever met. I feel like talking to myself when I talk to you. You are not judgmental and you are so practical. You are my inspiration at times. I learnt to be me. Thanks a lot. (I never thanked you enough). Publish my book, I don’t think anyone else will be practical enough to think about my unpublished novel when I am dead. By the way, on a totally irrelevant topic, fall in love da, it is really beautiful feeling! (I know you will
say me oops tell me “you are talking about that? Irony!” Still fall in love sometime later because you are not an arranged marriage type of guy 😛 )
Sis – Payal: I don’t know what to tell to you. I have so much to express but so little to talk. Don’t miss me. I am in you. Don’t remove the mirrors; instead use them to dress up like me. All my dresses are yours. Wear them and be like me so that kids won’t miss me.
Damn, I wrote too much yaar. I am literally crying now. If you are wondering why I came up with such a weird post, then all the credits goes to IndiSpire 😛 – This is my response to their latest edition “Waking up from the dead and watching how life unfolded without you.. Is your lover remarried? Is your mother over your loss and likewise. #BackFromTheDead” and also I am linking this to Festival of Words: Free Write by Write Tribe.
Love & Cheers,