Pooja was checking her news feed and occasionally smiling at one or other posts in Facebook. G-Mail desktop notification popped up and she knew she was screwed even before opening the mail. She saw that the mail was intimation about the team meeting. It said the meeting is by 12 noon and it was 11:30 AM now. She cursed softly and continued to surf through Facebook. She loathed meetings especially these absolutely pointless and baseless ones, however she can’t help it. She has no solid reason to avoid it.
She enters the conference hall where the meeting was scheduled well in advance and sat in a comfortable place where she can keep an eye on everyone still be comfortable. Mr. Nosy-Pants, her team leader arrived and he was as usual in his grumpy self. He shrieked at top of his voice, “Where are the others? Only 3 of you are here. What about the rest?” Pooja suddenly remembered of Dolores Umbridge, she doesn’t know how or why but his grumpy voice and his pink shirt reminded her of Doroles Umbridge. She closed her mouth with a kerchief in her hand to hide her laughter. Mr. Nosy-Pants aka Doroles Umbridge turned to her direction and rolled his eyes. She started imaging him in Umbridge’s Pink Dress, hat, and cat. She couldn’t control her laughter; she gagged on her kerchief and excused herself to drink water.
When she was back, the team had already assembled and Mr. Umbridge aka Nosy Pants has glued his front part of the body to the screen in front of them as he muttered something to it. She wondered what was happening and could see that he is trying to preach something about responsibility, professional ethics, team building, leadership, etc. She wondered why lectures are always boring and serious – why can’t they me lively and funny? Why can’t someone show them or make them work as a team and improve their team building instead of these bullet points in the presentation.
She decided to skip the lecture as she already started yawning continuously. Thus, Pooja tried to concentrate on other things like the uneven, disfigured, completely ugly, and big potato shaped butts of Nosy Pants. She giggled silently while seeing how the two ugly potatoes danced while he spoke vigorously. He turned suddenly and her gaze was now at his crotch and she felt that God has made the worst mistake by making such a bad proportional difference. For someone as huge as Nosy Pants, the crotch size was exceptionally small. She thought would it even stand up or stay the same, she quickly changed her gaze to Nosy Pants face. She felt pathetically sad for his wife, after such a keen analysis she finally decided that there wasn’t even a single worthy feature in Nosy Pants body. Still how he managed to get such a beautiful wife; her mind gave the answer – money! She said to herself that even if Nosy Pants was a billionaire she wouldn’t even consider the prospect of marrying him since firstly, he was looking like 4-5 potatoes fixed on together and secondly, he was grumpy and gruesome.
Her thoughts were disturbed by the Umbridge look-alike’s voice, “Pooja, tell me. What exactly do you think about me?” Pooja got shocked; was he reading her mind? Is the Nosy Pants aka Umbridge is now having skills of Edward Cullen? Well, Nosy Pants will make Sparkling Edward Cullen look less annoying. She replied, “uhhmmm”. He said, “I know you are hesitant to praise me in front of me, I know you adore me.” Pooja wanted to tell, “Adore you, my foot. You ugly looking grumpy potato.” However, she said “Sir, what do you mean?” He replied, “I was telling you people, you should learn how to be a good leader from me. I asked your opinion on it and since you are shy and calm I will consider your silence as a positive response.” Pooja was confused about what this man is blabbering. Finally by 1:30 PM he released them from his gruesome lecture and everyone was exhausted other than Pooja.
Shailaja said to Pooja during the lunch, “Hey, what is the problem with Abhishek Sir. He was so grumpy and serious. After listening to his boring, self sustained lecture I started feeling low and serious.”
Pooja asked, “What do we do when we see a boggart?”
Pooja: The boggart – Harry Potter Series.
Shailaja: Yeah, I got it but why now?
Pooja: Say. What should you do?
Pooja: Precisely, whenever people are serious around you think of something ridiculous. That’s the magic. Life is too short to be serious. Moreover Seriousness is Contagious.
Shailaja: Well, what ridiculous thing you thought of today?
Pooja: A lot, mainly Nosy Pants aka Abhishek Sir in Umbridge’s Costume.
They both laughed loudly and opened a Cadbury’s 5-star to add more enjoyment.
Life is too short to be serious. There are few people with “Condition Serious Hai” syndrome. Keep them away from you because Seriousness in Contagious. Be ridiculous, naughty, funny, and happy that’s what life is for. If at all nothing favors grab a Cadbury 5-Star and feel the happiness like how I am doing now.
This story is written as a response to the contest “Condition Serious Hai” by IndiBlogger.in in coordination with Cadbury’s 5 Star.
With lots of love, care, and chocolates (which I am eating),