Saat Phere (or) Seven Circumambulations – Wedding Wednesdays


Hi Folks,

I started with more of story telling these days and this was a prompt given by my sister. She asked me to write about “Saat Phere” – The customary seven circumambulations taken by the bride and the groom during the wedding. Here is the story;

Saat Phere

Saat Phere

The room was blurring or was it her vision? Shristy had been weeping for past “god-knows-how-many” hours. Her vision started blurring due to excessive secretion of tears, the pink wall in front of her looked beige. She wondered if she had anymore tears left in her eyes to shed; her thoughts were disturbed by the sound of knob clicking on the door. She turned her head in that direction and saw her mother coming inside her room. She quickly wiped her eyes and faked a smile.

“Shristy, don’t try to hide your tears dear. I am your mom, I can see past those fake smile”, said her mom as a matter of fact. The words Aman said still lingered in her ears, she started crying again and this time she cried not because of the current day’s fight with Aman but because she questioned herself whether she has a happy future with him. She asked her mother in a choking voice, “Mom, Aman and I do you think we really will make a perfect pair like you and dad?” “It was absolutely your choice Shri, you should tell me. What do you think of him?” Mothers know where to hit their kids, they hit on the right spot which always not just pains but gives a banging realization. Indeed it was her choice which her parents readily approved but she was confused now.

“Mom, still tell me. What do you think of him and why do we fight? Shall we call off the wedding?” Shristy expected her mom to blast her with cruel words for talking this way on the contrary she got a calm and composed reply, “Why you want to call it off – because he hurts you, he scolds you, he is possessive? Or maybe because you both fight on petty things?” Shristy herself didn’t know the answer, she however said, “Mom, I felt he and I could always be like you and dad – the perfect couple. However, these days I feel the love is missing.”

Her mom said, “You know what the basic problem is with kids of this generation? You guys fall in love so easily and want to get rid of it more easily. Everything is fast, very fast – just like those fast foods, isn’t it?” Seeing Shristy stare at her silently she went on, “The wedding is in one week and you want to call it off just like cancelling a pizza or a cab. Even when you cancel a train ticket they take cancellation charges for the inconvenience caused. When you cancel, divorce, break up or whatever you call it – in a relationship, you know what is lost as inconvenience charges? It is your mental peace, the hope, the perspective on life.”

Shristy asked curiously, “But, how can you put up with someone who hurts you mom? See I never saw you and dad fighting, why can’t people be that way?” “That’s your perception and love on us Shri, of course I and your dad fight but that is not fight or war. It is like sorting out our differences”, said her mom with a sense of pride. She further went on, “Look, we were born in a generation where if anything is broken we learnt to fix it and not throw away.” Shristy asked, “Mom, you saw this in Facebook right? I too saw it”. Her mom was really angry now, “What is the point in seeing it on facebook, liking it, and sharing it if you can’t implement that in your own life?”

Shristy was feeling guilty. Her mom said, “Do you know why couples take saat phere during their wedding?” Shristy was clueless, she gave an oblivious stare. Her mother explained, “See, the seven circumambulations that you take around the fire denotes seven different things. The first one is done for the food, you pray to the almighty to prosper you and your partner with food. Second step denotes physical, spiritual and mental health; couples wish and pray for a healthy life. Third step is taken in order to seek sufficient wealth, the fourth is for love and respect, you promise each other in this step to love and respect one another and the other person’s family forever. The fifth circumambulation is for the noble children that should be born to the couple, while the sixth is for peaceful and long life together, forever. Now, do you know why the seventh round is done? All the essential stuff like food, wealth, children, health, love, and eternity were listed already. Still, why there is a need for the seventh one?”

Shristy thought for a moment and said, “I don’t know”. Her mom smiled, “Exactly, you don’t know and that’s why relationship between Aman and you is on the rocks. The seventh one is friendship. It is a promise done to be your spouse’s best friend forever.” Shristy gasped, “Mom, are you serious? Is it really friendship?” “Yes my dear. Friendship is the main thing that will save a disturbed relationship. You know what your dad and I do whenever we fight? We think like friends, behave like friends. Trust me; apart from all these hugs, kisses, love-making, wealth, beauty, trust, etc friendship is the most beautiful thing that is necessary between husband and wife.”

Shristy asked, “But, I and Aman were best friends before falling in love. So logically, we both shouldn’t fight right?” Her mom said with a cynical smile on her face, “Your sentence itself has the answer for it. You yourself said ‘you WERE friends’. Try to be his friend again. Love is a delicious dish dear but only if you add the right ingredients.”

After her mother left, Shristy texted Aman, “Sorry for being a stupid and hurting you and Thanks for being a best friend always”. Aman immediately replied, “I don’t expect sorry from the love of my life and thanks from my best friend”.

Prompt Courtesy: My Sister Payal.
Explanation of Saat Phere: My Mother (she did it a long time back).

Love & Cheers,

S(t)ri

I am S(t)ri

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