This is a post requested by one of the readers (apparently and surprisingly, a male reader). So almost everyone of you would have guessed what I am going to ramble about in this post. Yes, it is indeed about periods or to be precise the menstruation process. All you male readers who are about to close the window, just stop. This is indeed for you. My friend (the blog follower who asked me to write about this), gave me a beautiful article to check with as a reference. The article is however from a NRI / Non-Indian point of you. Now let’s reserve this topic within India and our society. So where are we exactly? In regard to the periods concept? How many of you girls boldly tell to your male friends that you can’t make it to the trip because you are on your periods? Oh! What reason have you been giving for missing dance classes, gym or yoga 3 days a month?
This is a sample conversation that every female has with her male friend. I am no exception, even I am like this or to be precise I was like this until few months ago.
Girl: When is the trip?
Boy: June 19.
Girl: Oh, I can’t come.
Girl: I don’t know, mother won’t allow.
Boy: Shall I talk to aunt?
Girl (whispers to another girl)
Another Girl: Leave her alone, she can’t come.
Some boys might leave it there (men nature – they are sweet, aren’t they), and some may even ponder over this. At some wise men may understand it.
Another conversation (between close friends or lovers);
Girl: No dear, I can’t come out today.
Boy: Why? It’s been long time.
Girl: I am ill (I am sick, I have stomach ache, blah, blah)
Boy: Oh, take care.
If he understands then it is fine else if he had presumed that you are indeed physically ill then it is like an unwanted misunderstanding.
Instead, we can have the above conversations as;
Boy: June 19th
Girl: Can’t we advance or post pone it by few days?
Girl: That is the time of my month, I really wish to come but can’t enjoy if it clashes there.
Girl: I can’t meet you if it is a long drive, can’t we sit and talk in my home or beach?
Boy: Sure, but why? are you ill?
Girl: I am on my periods and I will be happy if you just hold me and talk.
Boy: I love you!
As of periods one thing should be understood, the menstruation is not a disease and it is definitely not a sickness. It is natural, as natural as breathing. It is okay to go out, have fun, talk about it. How many of you still treat or be treated like some refugee in their own homes? Given a separate plate, room (at times, have to sleep in veranda/balcony). Still few girls fear to tell their father to fix a wedding date according to the time when they don’t have periods. This ends up in girls having their own weddings during their periods and to avoid the awkwardness they consume pills that postpone periods (beware, these pills are unhealthy). How many of you guys have brought up with the mindset that you shouldn’t touch her (sister or any female) on those days?? It is not crime.
Yeah, exceptions do exist. If you wear a rudhraksam, saptigam or if you are into any spiritual or religious activity you might stay away since it might affect your beliefs so I am not talking about those rituals and customs. I am posing this question to the normal people.
Firstly, lets clear up few things.
- It is absolutely okay to talk about it. It is personal but it is not a crime or secret to hide. As a mother, every women should teach her son also about this. Most women talk freely about this to daughter but even hide sanitary napkins from their son. While the cigarette packets, liquor bottle and even condoms lie around in certain houses why not a person actually see a packet of sanitary napkins? At the right age a mother can actually explain her son what actually happens to women when they undergo this.
- Don’t avoid the woman on her menstruation. She is not ill or untouchable. She will suffer from mood swings, She may be vulnerable. She will throw tantrums. Don’t hurt her more by avoiding her. This is the time of the month when girls need more care and more affection. She is not unclean. With so many sanitary napkins, tampons, etc she is cleaner and pure so nothing is going to happen if you hug or touch her.
- During menstruation, not just endometrium and blood come out but actually she undergoes lot of hormonal changes. Some women may feel so sick and ill, few may feel the pain pursue for all the three days or worst for a week, some may be sexually charged and kinky, many may suffer from menstrual cramps. Few women may feel all these and few other specific symptoms too. Mostly mood swings are pretty common.
- Give her the best. During those time of the month, women need the best bed, best food and best love. Seriously with so much blood oozing out you expect her to sleep on the cold outside? Without bed? Expecting her to eat her food super fast? Or expect her to eat the left over food? Sadly, this is the state in many houses, still now.
Guys, If you are already aware of these then it’s super cool. Else, do change your attitude! Girls, it is absolutely alright to talk about periods. If we can’t talk boldly about some natural biological process then we are unfit to talk about women empowerment and feminism. If you wish to differ, get yourself a chocolate and relax and spare me because I am as opinionated as you are and speaking about chocolate… Guys, if your girl, sister, best friend, mother or any girl you care about is on her time of the month then get her a chocolate. It really works!!
Love & Cheers,